Dating is not easy…
Dating is one of those things that we tend to think we ‘should‘ be able to do because other people seem to find it so easy. But the truth is that dating isn’t easy -and this is true even for people who don’t experience social anxiety regularly. I promise, it’s not just you struggling with dates.
So many of us can get into a panic just thinking about a date… What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I can’t think of anything to say? Will I understand the menu? Will I be judged for the food I order? What if my date thinks I’m boring or doesn’t like me? What will the place be like? Who will be there? What if I bump into someone I know?
So. Many. Questions. It might seem better to avoid dating altogether. This was my favoured approach (as it was to all challenging situations in life). In fact, the mere mention of a date and I’d freak out and blurt out a ‘no‘ before I even had time to consider what I actually wanted.
…but neither is avoiding connection
But whilst avoiding dating stops the panic, it creates an uncomfortable conflict within ourselves. We are wired for connection. We want to love and be loved. But if we are constantly avoiding connection for fear of rejection then it’s hard to imagine how we can possibly get to know someone well enough to start a fulfilling relationship. Continue reading „Why dating is so hard when you experience social anxiety and how you can make it easier“